“When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).

Many of us have believed and accepted the lie that “It is my responsibility to change my mate.” The truth is: God wants to use your mate to change you. We are all in process – we are all in different stages of character development – that’s why we need to be patient with one another.

God is in the process of developing the character of Christ in each one of our lives. That’s why He put you in the family you are in. That’s why He gave you the spouse and children that you have – even with all of their idiosyncrasies, faults, and personality quirks.

It is God who brings people into our lives that annoy us and irritate us and even wrong us so that we can learn to respond to them with the graciousness and kindness of Christ. If we had never been wronged, it would be impossible for us to learn how to forgive.

If we really want to change our mate, the two greatest means of influencing them for good are a Godly life and prayer. Your Godly response to their hurtful words and actions can be a powerful influence for change in their lives. And it is far more effective to appeal to the Lord than to try and exert pressure on your mate directly. With God nothing is impossible. He has His Own unique ways of putting pressure on a husband or wife and turning a person around, and often our nagging and interfering only get in the way.

Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries